Our Virtual Christmas Party

Last night we had our annual Christmas party. Normally we go to a pub, have a meal and some drinkies, pull crackers, the usual. This year we had to do it by web-conference and feared it was going to be a bit… well… rubbish in comparison.

We were wrong.

Admittedly, we did need to prep a little more than usual but it was brilliant. Why?

1. 2020 has been pretty grim so everyone was ready to have some fun.
2. Ric had kindly pulled together a literary Christmas Quiz.
3. Alcohol was flowing pretty freely 😀
4. We’d written some ‘Terrible Christmas Poetry’ (some of which was way too good – it’s actually quite difficult to write properly bad poems).
5. We played “guess the punchline” to a load of Christmas Cracker jokes.
6. We didn’t have to complain about cold sprouts or the rowdy buggers on the next table.
7. We were the rowdy buggers and no-one could complain to the management about us.
8. “One Dice Lulu” who became a bit of a recurring character.
9. We laughed quite a lot (see points 1 through to 8).

Two hours in good company flew by. Thanks to all of our members, old and new. Perhaps next year, if we’re allowed back into pubs for Christmas, we’ll have to bring our laptops with us.

If our members are suitably forthcoming we’ll put our terrible festive poems up for people to chuckle at. In the meantime, here are the Christmas Cracker set up lines, followed by the missing punchlines.

1. What beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake?
2. Who is never hungry at Christmas ?
3. What happens if you eat the Christmas decorations ?
4. How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
5. Why did the Turkey want to join a rock group?
6. If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get?
7. What do you call an elf with a skin disease?
8. What’s the legal term for Santa’s helpers?
9. What do you call a standing ovation for Father Christmas ?
10. What do you call people who are scared of Santa?
11. Which outlaw not only gave to the poor but gift-wrapped it as well?
12. What’s a ghosts favourite Christmas entertainment ?
13. Why was Cinderella such a poor football player ?
14. What was Santa doing in the red light district ?
15. What is the best key to get at Christmas?
16. Where does mistletoe go to become famous?
17. Where do pirates do their Christmas shopping?
18. Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
19. What’s an ig?
20. What’s white, furry and smells of mint?

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And now for the corny answers. One or two are a tad rude….

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1. Tarzipan!
2. The turkey – he’s always stuffed!
3. You get tinsel-itus!
4. Deep pan, crisp and even!
5. Because he’d heard he had nice drum-sticks!
6. Mistle-toes!
7. A leper-chaun!
8. Subordinate clauses!
9. Santapplause!
10. Claustrophobic!
11. Ribbon hood
12. A phantomime!
13. She had a pumpkin for a coach -OR- She kept running away from the ball
14. Ho ho ho -ing! -OR- Admiring the stockings -OR- Emptying his sack
15. A turkey!
16. “Holly” wood!
17. Arrrgos
18. You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
19. An eskimo’s home without a loo
20. A polo bear

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Ric came up with some great questions.

We came up with some great wrong answers:

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“One Dice Lulu”? suggested Mark.

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